Ever since my life was turned completely upside down, I have embarked on a new chapter of my life. I have been through so much in the last two years, but I made a conscious decision one day that I would not roll over and give up. I found my big girl panties, put them on, and kept going. It has been a roller coaster ride that I did not ask to be on, but f*@k if I wasn’t going to hang on and try and “enjoy” the ride. Along the way IÂ discoveredÂ a strong, independent, intelligent, and pretty damn awesome woman was living inside me. For the first time in my life, I am proud of ME. I am doing what is right for ME and living the life I want. I am going after things that scare me, but I amÂ finally armed with the belief that I CANÂ doÂ anything I want.Â I finallyÂ see that the only thing holding me back in life is ME. I have a new mantra that REALLYÂ helps on those days when the doubt tries to creep back in;
If it doesn’t CHALLENGE you, it won’t CHANGE you.Â
There are still many days when I struggle to deal with being separated/divorced and having kids with my ex. Anyone who hasn’t been throughÂ has no way of knowing how complex and emotionally draining this is. ESPECIALLYÂ since my ex moved straight in with his new girlfriend,Â so it appeared to me Â that he hadÂ moved on right away (a year before I found out that he had found someone new and was leaving me….) One of the things I still find the most difficult is not having anyone to talk to who actually UNDERSTANDS what I’m going through. Everyone has advice and tells me “what I SHOULD do”, and while I appreciate the support, it’s impossible for anyone who hasn’t BEEN there to understand. This blog is one the many steps I am taking to become the woman IÂ want toÂ be. I hope that I can be of some support to anyone else going through similar difficulties, and a word of warning to anyone CONSIDERING taking steps in that direction… Here goes nothing!!!